So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
