yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
40s are totally the cure
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
