As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
