So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He felt like a one man threesome
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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