It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
