Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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