saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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