So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
