Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
