is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
