I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
