I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
