My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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