ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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