Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
