BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
