the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
