Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
