it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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