why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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