operation have a gay friend backfired
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
