At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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