But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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