I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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