worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
