I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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