What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This toilet bowl is my home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
