I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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