Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
