i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
