end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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