belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
