I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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