so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
