Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
