dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
