Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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