I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
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votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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