I puked a lego.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
