Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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(847): View more from Illinois

he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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(619): View more from California

I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.

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(512): View more from Texas

rest in peace liver.

(254): View more from Texas

It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.

(512): View more from Texas

that's going in my livers obituary.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.

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