I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
