Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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