I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize