I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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