I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Maybe he injected his testicle?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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