never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
