i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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