I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
