It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
