just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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