remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
