No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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