So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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