were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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