# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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