I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
