Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
