im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
