I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
