i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
