We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize