oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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