I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
