I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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